Full Love Ahead

Confessions of an Aspie Mom 

I went to a house party today.   An old friend who I rarely see anymore was hosting one of those in home sales parties.

When I arrived I commented how surprised I was to find that other Mom's had brought their children.    My friend took me aside and told me that she didn't invite my son because she knew I needed time for myself.  And that after all, wouldn't it be for the best?   The other guests and their children probably wouldn't understand.   

I took a seat, numbly watching and listening.  I felt out of place.   One Mom was bouncing her baby  on her lap.   I was seated by a French door where I could watch the other guests' children running and playing dodge-ball outside. 

Some Moms were chatting about how their daughters were taking dance lessons or getting their ears pierced.   Other Moms were talking about their sons adventures with team sports or Boy Scout trips.

I didn't tell them how proud I am that my teenage son has finally mastered tying his shoes.   Or that he's doing well in social skills class.  

I listened and said nothing.    I watched these beautiful children with mixed feelings.   I felt envious, jealous and then angry with God, and then angry with myself. 

I wonder, if the tables were turned, would I have welcomed a guest to bring a child with autism to my party?  I hope so.

I stayed for an hour with these people, then drove home feeling sorry for my son, and for myself.

As I entered my kitchen, I noticed both the tablecloth and floor were sticky.  My son had made some tea and left a long drippy trail of honey.   The dog ran through the honey and her hair was spiked in a wild array.  She was licking her her front paws when I cried out, "What on earth....?" 

Before I knew it, both my son and the dog came at me in a big sticky, messy hug.    It became  a wild, tickling, gooey, giggling, barking huddle then ended up with me becoming part of the festive chaos.   

Then we got the business of cleaning up.   We bathed the dog, and I mopped the floor while my son was in the shower.   While the floor dried, I could hear my son playing X-Box Live with his online pals.  

I walked upstairs and saw him, his hair damp, his focus on the game.    I asked, "Everything okay?"

He said, "I'm fine Mom.  I'm having fun."  

I walked away thinking how lucky we are.  We live in a time where there are many supports for children with autism.  While he struggles with social skills in face-to-face situations, technology allows him to enjoy games with online friends.    

I know in my heart that my son will grow up and realize his full potential.   

The tea kettle whistled as I headed for the kitchen.   My son asked, "Mom, are you making tea?"

Send us your stories.   We parents often find ourselves in uneasy situations with our family and friends.    Knowing we're not alone, and learning how other parents handle it helps us all.  Thank you!

 SPECIAL EDUCATION ADVOCATE SERVICES AVAILABLE 

"How can I expect other people to get this?   I live with it and I don't completely understand...."

"I now have two sets of friends.   My regular friends and the autism community."