Full Love Ahead

ANOTHER SPECIAL STORY:

Christopher was born at 26 weeks and weighed 1 pound 11 ounces.   We were told by the doctor that he had a 50-75% chance of living. He was such a fighter and came home with us 3 months later weighing 7 pounds.

He had a lot to overcome as his early years were full of serious medical challenges.  Through it all he had a strong personality and will to live and learn as much as he could about cars, space and the human body.

Early on, Christopher spent more time in the hospital than at day care.    Kindergarten was wonderful because he was getting bigger and stronger and having fun with other kids.   But when first grade began it felt like it was “us against them”.

His teacher kept complaining, about his behavior in the classroom, and the homework was overwhelming and it seemed ridiculous to be spending 4 hours doing 1^st grade homework. They had said 10 minutes per grade-yeah right!! 

They wanted to test him for ADHD.   Against our better judgment, we agreed to the testing, but we stopped when it started becoming too disruptive for Chris.   It also was becoming intrusive and opinionated on how we may be raising him.    Medications were recommended but we refused.  We paid for our own psychologist to test him.

The struggles continued and my husband observed the classroom.   Our son had said he’d rather be a girl.   My husband discovered the teacher showing a preference for the girls in the class.   My husband was angry and at his insistence, Chris was assigned to another teacher.     Things improved for Chris.

Things have been better since we got the diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome from our doctor and he has an IEP. The right teachers have made a tremendous difference.  Still, he had trouble staying focused in class and we finally accepted pharmaceutical treatment.

The first pill had alarming side effects and we stopped it immediately. It was scary to try a second but it has been successful and with minimal adverse effects.     

I am glad to have a support group now as Chris will be heading into puberty in the next couple of years and that will be a whole new challenge.   My husband is a stay at home Dad and although it can be very challenging at times, he does a fabulous job taking care of him. I love him very much for that.    I want to share a letter that he wrote to the new teacher in Chris’s middle school. I cry every time I read it. We are truly blessed to have each other.

Send us your stories.   We parents often find ourselves in uneasy situations with our family and friends.    Knowing we're not alone, and learning how other parents handle it helps us all.  Thank you!

PORTIONS OF DAD'S LETTER TO THE MIDDLE SCHOOL:

Dear Mrs. ABC,

Chris is a unique individual. He does not fit the traditional mold of a typical student. He has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and ADD. He has a desire to belong and achieve. However; combined, these two traits greatly impede his learning process.

He has several focus interests: cars, space, the human body, legos and currently sunken ships and airplanes. He can spend hours playing and reading about these subjects without being distracted.. When interrupted he can easily develop a negative attitude about doing anything else, including coming to dinner.

He has the ability to focus, but usually when he relates it to one of his interests. He needs constant re-directing for him to accomplish the simplest task of a routine nature...... Everyday, he will need to be reminded to turn in his homework .

His ability to focus is hindered by his acute awareness of his surroundings. In the classroom, the movement and sounds of others provide a welcomed alternative away from what he considers a “boring” task. .........

He has shown that he has difficulty recognizing people. He relates to his uncles by the cars they drive. ................This could equate to one of the reasons why he relates to adults better than to peers. He interacts with fewer adults and their faces are different from the numerous child faces with whom he interacts .

Socially, he is friendly but sometimes can be unintentionally rude. He doesn’t interpret social cues very well. In attempts to ’fit in’, he will make what he thinks to be a funny remark. ........... Sometimes his brutal honesty and lack of tact drive another wedge between him and any potential friends.

Change is difficult for him. Even when engaged in a ‘boring’ assignment, he has trouble stopping and starting another task......... He needs reassurance that what he is doing is important and forewarning that a change is about to occur.

Negative mood swings are more prevalent when Chris is tired (sometimes hungry) if he didn’t get a good nights sleep. He has told us that sometimes it takes a long time to get to sleep because his brain does not stop thinking.....

We are currently working with his pediatrician to determine the best medicine and dosage to help Chris with his ADD. ....... We will keep you appraised when there is a change in medication, so you may be alert to any positive or negative affects the new medicine may have on Chris’s academic / social achievements.............

Is Chris overprotected? Spoiled? Maybe. He is our only child born three months early at 1pound 11 ounces. His first three months in the hospital on a ventilator. Can you imagine going home without your newborn baby every night for three months? ......

Early on, Chris developed a strong will and the ability to endure unpleasant situations by retreating inward to survive. I think you will have a chance to observe his will. Please, Guide it - don’t break it.

Thank you.